Contrary to my cousin Randall's most recent post...I did not kiss a boy tonight! As Jesse and I have worked to make our relationship more casual as prophets have asked before our missions, we have developed a good friendship. Unfortunately and confusingly along with this we seem to be more short with each other. I don't understand it. Let me give you an example:
Tonight we went on a group date and went ice skating (we did hold hands, we decided that on a date that was acceptable and still casual enough), then we went to Inn n Out. It was fun! Then, instead of going home we decided to go to Mill Ave. Which is the college street. Forgetting that it was a Friday night after 11pm we went anyway. After parking and talking about where we can park without getting towed or ticketed we parked somewhere Jesse has parked many times. I saw a cop driving around looking at the cars so I kept looking back to make sure he wasn't ticketing people and asking Jesse if he was SURE that we could park there. This annoyed him and frustrated he asked why no one trusted him and his judgment and that he'd been there before and to just trust him. Surprised by this sudden burst of frustration I kept quiet sort of irritated by the way he'd reacted. I felt bad for annoying him, but it's my personality to worry about things to prevent things like tickets and getting towed from occurring in the first place. It didn't take long for him to pick up that I was irritated and we talked. He apologized many times and things are ok. But why is it that we suddenly are short and snappy with each other? I don't understand. I care about him so much and him me, so why do we sometimes treat each other in ways that don't show that?
Anyway, we got home right about 1am and Jesse walked me to the door he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He then asked if he could give me a real kiss and I told him no. I explained that I didn't think that constituted as casual. I don't know how to really explain it all and I know it probably sounds stupid...but yeah. I want the best for him and I know how easily I can distract him. I want him to go on his mission and not be missing me and I don't want to keep him from preparing for his mission either. In all honesty I have high hopes that when we return from our missions we can meet back up, catch up, possibly date and see where it takes us :) So that is where I'm at...I'm not kissing a boy :)